Rating: PG-13 -- Wordcount: 1600
Summary: Written for the prompt Filming scenes like this is a real hardship. (rpf?) on glovered's dunk!boys comment fic meme
So maybe switching out the decorative bottles of amber colored mineral water with real booze had been a mistake. Maybe replacing just Jensen's bottle would have been a better idea than all five of the prop bottles that had been set out for them…
Warnings: spoilers for 7x18 Party On, Garth
So maybe switching out the decorative bottles of amber colored mineral water with real booze had been a mistake. Maybe replacing just Jensen's bottle would have been a better idea than all five of the prop bottles that had been set out for them. But whatever. The surprised, bug-eyed grimace on Jensen's face when he took that first searing gulp of Scotch had totally been worth it and Jared patted himself on the back for managing to keep his best Sam-face firmly in place. But six takes and four near empty bottles later, the awesomeness of pulling one over on his best friend was wearing off as they struggled to remember their lines and pretend to be sober while acting drunk. Or maybe it was the other way around... Whatever it was they were doing, Jared was exhausted and he kinda wished he'd let someone else on set in on his epic plan so he had someone to laugh at Jensen with.
"Sammy...?" Jensen slurred, waving his fingers in front of Jared's face. "You in there, man?"
Jared's eyes snapped up at Jensen's face and Jensen gave him a lopsided smile. Jared grinned back. "What?"
Jared and Jensen both looked over at Bob.
Bob did not look happy.
"You guys alright?" His voice had that controlled annoyed pitch to it that he got when he was restraining himself from tearing into them. "'Cause you didn't get a single line from the script in this time."
Jared smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, Bob," he started. "We, uh--"
"We were tryin' to get some shit for the gag reel!" Jensen yelled, interrupting Jared's confession. His words were clipped, voice tight and much louder than necessary, and Jared snorted a laugh at how drunk he sounded.
Drunk, but apparently still able to think on his toes! Sometimes Jensen was a friggin' genius.
"Yeah!" Jared called. "Sorry, we're just, ya know, uhh... fuckin' around."
"Oh, for chrissake," Bob muttered, rolling his eyes. "Can we try for just ONE good take before you two go out of your way to make yourselves look like complete idiots?"
"Yeah, yeah, sorry man, no problem..." Jensen waved at him as he and Jared took their places behind the desk. "I'm gonna fuckin' kill you," he whispered without looking at Jared. Jared swallowed a giggle and ignored him. Jensen was a little wobbly on his feet and Jared was grateful that the scene called for him to stay on his ass throughout.
"Scene 9, take 7. Action!"
"Drink up, Sammy," Jensen slurred, pouring himself yet another glass of Scotch and drank it as fast as he could, bending at the knees like that would help it go down easier.
"Can you even get drunk anymore?" Jared asked, hoping he was on the right line. He knew that one was at least somewhere in this scene. He took a big gulp of whiskey and tried not to visibly gag on the sickly sweet liquor.
Jensen leaned over, resting his hand on Jared's shoulder as he looked intently at the computer screen in front of him. His face was close to Jared's, a lot closer than he should be and Jared could smell the liquor on his breath when he exhaled his next line. Jared didn't hear whatever it was he said, though. He was too distracted by Jensen's fingers sliding across his neck and twisting into the long hairs at the nape. He gave a small tug and murmured, "Are you ever gonna cut this shit? You're startin' to look like a girl."
"A'least I'm a pretty girl," Jared slurred back, looking up into Jensen's glassy green eyes as a shiver crawled up his spine. "Like you should talk!" he scoffed. "You got, like, the longest eyelashes I've ever seen. On anyone!" He laughed loudly right into Jensen's face. "So you're the girl. Girl." He took another drink and smiled innocently back up at his friend.
"Yeah, well..." Jensen trailed off, his eyes going dark.
Jared got that tingly feeling in his belly, the same one he always got when they were drunk and thatthingtheynevertalkedabout reared up between them. It was always there, this... this thing just below the surface, a smoldering intensity that made people on set whisper and fangirls write disturbingly realistic diatribes about their epic love for each other. But after seven years, Jensen had become the master of denial and avoidance.
Jared was okay with it, he had even tried to kiss Jensen that one time when they were still living together, right after he and Sandy split up. But Jensen turned his head at the last second, laughing like Jared was just messing around and made an excuse to go to bed. Jared never tried anything again. He always figured Jensen would come around someday, but as the years passed and they never shared anything more than heated looks and innuendo, he had all but given up hope. It was enough to have Jensen as his best friend, even though Jared would secretly always wish for more.
But now Jensen was staring at him, their faces so close together Jared could taste Jensen's breath on his tongue. His heart was whamming painfully against his ribs and he was having a hard time focusing on anything other than Jensen's full lips.
"Girl lips," he mumbled, mesmerized when Jensen's pink tongue flashed out to wet them.
Jared was dimly aware that people were whispering, heard someone cough loudly as someone else cleared their throat even louder. Jensen either didn't hear the noise around them or suddenly decided he was drunk enough that he didn't care because he flashed Jared a mischievous grin and growled, "I'll show you girl lips," right before he crushed their mouth's together.
Jared let out an admittedly girly squeal as his whole body went rigid and his eyes widened comically because holy shit! Jensen was kissing him! Jared was too shocked to respond, just sat there and took it as his best friend assaulted his mouth in the best way possible. Jensen was vibrating with laughter against his mouth and when Jared gasped, he took the opportunity to plunge his tongue deep inside, thoroughly exploring Jared's tonsils.
It only took a moment for Jared to snap out of it and start kissing him back, squeezing his eyes shut and thrusting his own tongue into Jensen's hot, Scotch-sour mouth, giving as good as he got.
Jensen wasn't laughing anymore, no, now he was moaning softly into Jared's mouth, twisting his fingers tight in his hair to pull Jared's head back for a better angle. Jared's hands fisted the lapels of Jensen's jacket, holding him close as their tongues slowed their frantic pace and they relaxed into a much more sensual kiss. When Jensen finally pulled back to catch his breath, nipping lightly at Jared's swollen lips, his eyes were glazed, pupils blown wide with lust and Jared's cock twitched a hello! in his jeans. He rested his forehead against Jared's, breathing hard and Jared's eyes crossed as he drunkenly tried to focus on Jensen's face.
"Um, cut?" Bob's confused voice made them jump and look over at the awestruck crew, every last one of them frozen in place and staring.
Jensen jumped back, yanking out of Jared's grip. He looked like the proverbial deer in the headlights, panic written all over his face. Jared felt his own face flame as he wiped a hand over his wet mouth. Jensen looked at him, eyes wide and filled with fear. When he looked back at their crowd, he choked out a shrill, almost hysterical laugh and shrieked, "Punked, muthafuckas!" He looked at Jared desperately, silently begging him to go along with it.
Jared forced out a harsh laugh. "You should see your faces!" he called, pointing at the lot of them.
After an uncomfortable moment of everyone staring dumbstruck at them, somebody let out an uncomfortable laugh and a few others finally joined in. "Good one, guys," Brad said, his voice tight.
"Yeah, you guys really got us," some chick Jared couldn't remember her name from makeup mumbled, her face scarlet.
"Let's take a break," Bob finally said and everyone scattered quickly. He walked over to the boys with a strained smile plastered to his face. "Jared," he began, his voice affectionately condescending. "Did you switch out the props with real booze again?"
Jared nodded, forcing himself to meet Bob's eyes and grin through the embarrassed flush still staining his face. Bob sighed and rolled his eyes. "Go sober up, dumbasses." He spun around and quickly walked off, shaking his head.
Jared and Jensen looked at each other nervously. "So," Jared started, looking down at his hands. "Um, that happened."
"Yeah," Jensen answered quietly, rubbing the back of his neck. "You, um... Yeah. Okay, yeah. I'm gonna go lay down." He started toward his trailer, weaving a little as he tried to walk a straight line and Jared lagged a few steps behind.
When Jared reached his own trailer, he opened the door, mentally making plans to puke his guts up, lay down face first on his overstuffed couch, and hopefully die of either alcohol poisoning or suffocation in his sleep so he never had to come out ever again. So to say he was shocked when Jensen shoved him inside roughly from behind, slammed the door shut and spun Jared around to push him up against it was a bit if an understatement.
"What...?" Jared began, dazed, but quickly lost his train of thought when Jensen smiled at him and gently pushed his soft lips against Jared's.
Yeah, sometimes Jared's pranks were friggin' awesome.